You know the girls who play house with their dolls, creating little families with mommy and daddy and several babies? Enacting glorious weddings with their Barbies? That wasn't me. My Barbies had tempestuous relationships with GI Joe and Cobra...maybe some Transformers thrown in the mix as well. (Soundwave was muy popular.) Everyone got married but that lasted for only a few minutes. There certainly were plenty of divorces. The Barbie mansion was a military base constantly under attack by the dastardly whoever was the enemy at the time.
Hey, even the GI Joes sung Opera.
Which was all very interesting since my family was the regular suburban kind. Mom and a Dad, four kids, nice house in a middle class suburb where nothing happened. I grew up telling everyone marriage and family wasn't for me! I had to explore the world, experience everything, and live life with no tethers. I had three other siblings to fill in the family tree.
So imagine my surprise when in quick succession after a ten year delay, I was newly married and staring at a blue line on a stick. Not that there wasn't a plan. Somewhere along the line I started wanting things I never thought I would and I blame my husband for all of that. Damn all this falling in love business! Screws up your damn good life plan of solitude and adventure.
So to the stick business. Whoever thought of the idea of forcing a woman to aim her pee at a one inch long, less than half an inch thick slab, was evil beyond compare. Pee on it for 5 seconds? Honey, you're lucky if I can pee on it for one second before getting it all over the place. I'm sorry but we're women! Our pee doesn't come with a built in shooter like you men who I'm sure invented this crazy method.
And then we wait for freaking 2 minutes! We have everything instant in this world, why not instant tests! I took the drugstore brand kind with the one line of you're not pregnant and two lines if you are. Ok, if I wasn't blessed with squinty eyesight and a handy LED light, it would have been tough to make out that very (and I mean VERY) faint second line.
So I woke up my husband anyway (at 4 in the morning, I'm so nice) and announced we had a faint blue line. He stares, grunts and goes back to sleep. Whatever. After looking VERY faint lines up on a million baby sites I get the idea that any line is a good indicator that your, my dear momma, are belly full of baby.
Just to be sure I go buy the much more expensive digital test from Clearblue after work. Its pretty basic. It says either "Pregnant" or "Not Pregnant". No stupid questionable line there. So I pee. Again making a mess and wondering if I actually got enough on that stick. And this beautiful test has a timer on it! And its fast! PREGNANT it says! Barely any waiting and BEEPING! I love digital tests! Wait a sec...PREGNANT? Oh my.
